What I Say : What I really mean, Tip 3: She Said: Wala nga, She means: Pilitin mo ako

What I Say : What I really mean, Tip 3:
She Said: Wala nga
She means: Pilitin mo ako

Two people will not be together for so long if they cannot forgive each other's little failure

Two people will not be together for so long
 if they cannot forgive each other's little failure

What I Say : What I really mean, Tip 2: He said: Ok lang ako He means: Hello, halata ba?

What I Say : What I really mean, Tip 2:
He said: Ok lang ako
He means: Hello, halata ba?

the title of the book is PSYCHOTHERAPIST - Tagalog Jokes Collection

juan at the library:i want to borrow the book entitled "Psycho the Rapist"

the Librarian searched for almost 2 hours
then she came back and slapped the book to juan's face
juan was shocked

Librarian: idiot! the title of the book is PSYCHOTHERAPiST!..




Juan: (kumakatok sa tindahan) Tao po! Tao po!
Tindera: Gabi na! Nanggising ka pa!
Juan: pasensya na po! My asin po kayo?
Tindera: meron! . . .
Juan:Kami rin po! Sige po! Bye!




lLOCANO: Tibay gid tong alaga ko nga KORING pre ky kbalo magsayaw.
CEBUANO: Mas tibay ang IDO' ko pre e ky kbalo mmalengke..
ILONGGO: Mauli ko anay pre ah.
ILOCANO: Haha! uli ka nalang pre kay wala man ka ipanghambog nga sapat. haha!
ILONGGO: Nagtext abi tong KANDING ko pre.. nagsaka' daw sa lubi ang KARBAW basi mahulog!

I'm hot, I know it - Tagalog Quotes Collection

I'm hot, I know it

What I Say : What I really mean, Tip 1: She Said: Bahala ka. She means: Pagsisihan mo ito

What I Say : What I really mean, Tip 1:
She Said: Bahala ka.
She means: Pagsisihan mo ito

Take a sweet smile when somebody insulted you. sometimes, your smile in enough to make them regret with their words

Take a sweet smile when somebody insulted you.
sometimes, your smile in enough to make them regret with their words

Come here! Take off your pants and get on top of me. Enjoy me until, you are totally satisfied. Lovingly yours, TOILET!

Dad: (Holding two toys, letting his son choose) Barbie or Superman?
Son: Superman Dad.
Dad: Good. (Then he left)
Son: GWAPO MO TALAGA SUPERMAN! BAKAT NA BAKAT! SHET!


Come here! Take off your pants and get on top of me.
Enjoy me until, you are totally satisfied.
Lovingly yours,
TOILET!



Juan : tay, may gusto akong babae. Ang ganda nya. Gusto kong makipag date
tatay : sino?
Juan : si nena, yung babae sa tapat natin
tatay : naku anak, wag mong sabihin sa nanay mo ha, kapatid mo yun si nena
nagalit ang bata, lumipas ang ilang linggo
juan : tay, inlab ako. Mas masarap sya
tatay : sino?
Juan : jan sa kabilang bahay, si ana
tatay : naku anak, kawawa ka naman. Anak ko din yun si ana eh
nangyari ng ilang beses. Lumapit ang bata kay nanay na umiiyak
juan : nay, galit ako kay tatay. Nagmahal ako ng limang beses pero di ko sila pwedeng i-date kase anak din sila ni tatay
nanay : pwede mo silang i-date, wag kang maniwala sa kanya, di mo sya tatay.

i believe in MEMORIES - Tagalog Love Quotes Collection

i believe in MEMORIES

Kapag hindi ka mahal ng taong mahal mo, ikaw ang letter "E" sa word na love. Nandiyan pero hindi pinopronounce.

Kapag hindi ka mahal ng taong mahal mo,
ikaw ang letter "E" sa word na love.
Nandiyan pero hindi pinopronounce.

the best way to walk each day is not by walking with nice shoes. but walking with God. walk not only by your feet. but walk with faith in our hearts.

the best way to walk each day is not by walking with nice shoes.
but walking with God. walk not only by your feet.
but walk with faith in our hearts.




TODAY. don't think of saying any UNKIND WORD. think of the people who can't speak.
don't complain about the FOOD you eat, some have nothing.
don't complain about LIFE, many die young.
when you're TIRED of your job, think of the jobless,
 the disabled and those who wish to they had yours.
 when SAD THOUGHTS seem to put you down, paint a SMILE on your face
 and thank GOD you're alive and you're still around.
LIFE's a gift. LIVE IT WELL!




why do we sleep in church but stay awake through a two hour movie?
why is it so hard to talk about God but it's so easy to gossip?
why is it so easy to ignore a Godly text message but resend the nasty ones?
think about it, are you going to send this to your friends?
or are you going to ignore this because you think you'll get laughed at?
Jesus said: "If you deny Me infront of your friends, I will deny you infront of My Father."

I still LOVE you - Tagalog Love Quotes Collection

I still LOVE you

More often than not, you fall in love with a person you can't totally have while the one who truly loves you remains either a friend or a stranger.

More often than not, you fall in love
with a person you can't totally have
while the one who truly loves you remains either a friend or a stranger.

Prayer is the best theraphy for trials and pains faith is the best medicine for hopelesnes & dEstructi0ns. pUt them together. God's love will be yours forever.

Keep on planting good seeds...
Love,
Compassion,
Faith,
Generosity,
Hope
& Understanding.
Even if u don't see the results at once,
someday when harvest time comes,
you will reap bountiful fruits of the best kind...
GOD is at work all the time




once a boy asked God: "is it wrong to sleep with a girl before marriage?"
God's reply: "No, it's not. But the problem is hindi naman kayo natutulog eh!"




Prayer is the best theraphy for trials and pains
faith is the best medicine for
hopelesnes & dEstructi0ns.
pUt them together.
God's love will be yours forever.

Kanino ka ba dapat humanga? Sa taong iniwan ang iba para mahalin ka? O sa taong handang iwan ka dahil may mahal kang iba?

Kanino ka ba dapat humanga?
Sa taong iniwan ang iba para mahalin ka?
O sa taong handang iwan ka dahil may mahal kang iba?

one of the nicest things in my life is my connection with you

one of the nicest things in my life is my connection with you.
and even if i don't have a lot of messages to send,
i want you to know how much i treasure you!




SIMPLE RULES IN LIFE.
be brave. even if you're not,
pretend to be. no one can tell the difference anyway.
when playing games with children, let them win.
when someone hugs you, let them be the first to let go.
wave at children on a school bus.
keep a notepad and a pen on your bedside table.
million-dollar ideas sometimes strike at 3am.
look at people in the eye.




sometimes, you don't have to hate someone for hurting you.
and it's not proper to be bitter either.
and the truth is, it's really a common mistake among us individuals.
for we live with our expectations. we oblige others to love us back.
for in the first place, we don't have the RIGHT.
IT HURTS WHEN IT SOUNDS SO RIGHT.
but that's life after all.
ACCEPTANCE.
 and most of all,
RESPECT.

The greatest value of having good people around you is not what you get from them, but the better person you become because of them

The greatest value of having good people around you
is not what  you get from them,
but the better person you become because of them

Never break these 4 things in life - Motivational Quotes Collection

if you missed the beautiful star that GOD made this night,
its ok. all you have to do is look at the mirror
and see a real beautiful creation of GOD.
 "it's YOU!"

My dreams goes with 7 6 5 4 3 2 1..

7 years from now, i will have

6 digits salary in

5 working days, riding in a

4 wheeled car..

living in a 3 story house

with 2 lovable children &

1 loyal, faithful

lifetime partner

never break these 4 things in life:

1. trust.

2. promise.

3. relationship.

4. heart.

coz when they break, they don’t make noise. but they hurt a lot!

If sometimes.. its wrong to tell the truth. Then maybe sometimes its right to tell a lie

If sometimes.. its wrong to tell the truth.
Then maybe sometimes its right to tell a lie

Destiny... - Tagalog Love Stories Collection

CUTE STORY:

My isang batang lalaki na naglalaro sa park,
my nkita syang picture ng batang babae,
na inlove agad sya sa batang babae,
hinanap niya ito ngmatagal,ngunit di niya nahanap..

hanggang sa kinasal na sya,

wife: cno yung batang babae na nasa picture sa walLet mo?

husband: ah, 1st love ko..(the wife smiled and say)

"nawala ko yan when i was 8 years old."

 - DESTiNY..

isa sa pinakamalungkot na sitwasyon sa buhay ay yung gusto mo siyang ipaglaban pero pagsuko nalang ang tangi mong pagpilian

isa sa pinakamalungkot na sitwasyon sa buhay
ay yung gusto mo siyang ipaglaban
pero pagsuko nalang ang tangi mong pagpilian

in the case between cat and mouse, the mouse mostly wins: PURPOSE is more important than NEED

in the case between cat and mouse,
the mouse mostly wins.
this is because the cat is running for its food and the mouse for its life.
lesson?
PURPOSE is more important than NEED.




It hurts to fall in love with someone who only sees you as a friend.
But what hurts most is knowing that he loves you too
but because of friendship,
he denies it.




It hurts to say goodbye to someone you almost give your life to.
Knowing that life won't be the same without that person.
But it's better to give up the feeling rather than to know you're the only one fighting.

ang mag ex kapag may komunikaasyon pa isa lang ang ibig sabihin nun, hindi pa nila kaya mawala ang isa't isa

ang mag ex kapag may komunikaasyon pa
isa lang ang ibig sabihin nun,
hindi pa nila kaya mawala ang isa't isa

minsan kahit gaano mo kamahal ang isang tao, kailangan mo itago ang nararamdaman mo

minsan kahit gaano mo kamahal ang isang tao,
kailangan mo itago ang nararamdaman mo

Learn to trust the perfect time so you may discover that all the pain found in waiting has an awesome purpose

Learn to trust the perfect time
so you may discover that all the pain
found in waiting has an awesome purpose

Wala akong gustong baguhin sayo. Dahil minahal kita ng ganyan ka at tinangap ko na lahat simula nung sinabi kong mahal kita

Bf and Gf once played a game.
The boy will write the things he like the girl to change.
And the girl will write the things she like the boy to change.
After an hour, they trade their work with one another.
 The girl started to cry while reading ten pages work of his bf.
Then his bf also started to cry because her gf only wrote,
"wala akong gustong baguhin sayo. Dahil minahal kita ng ganyan ka at tinangap ko na lahat simula nung sinabi kong mahal kita."




if i could freeze time,
i would freeze that moment we were together,
there was so much i wanted to share,
so much i wanted to say,
but the one thing i couldn’t tell you was how much i wanted you to stay.




i'll let him go for now, but it doesn't mean that i don't love him anymore. i'm just thinking of what might happen.
maybe tomorrow. someday,
in the time that we both don't expect.
we'll just meet and maybe.
just maybe, it would be OUR time again."

life isn't about finding yourself, life is about creating yourself.

life isn't about finding yourself,
life is about creating yourself.

Moments we in anger and worries are actually moments of happiness we steal from ourselves.

Moments we in anger and worries
are actually moments of happiness we steal from ourselves.

Never follow your heart when your brain knows what is right

Never follow your heart when your brain knows what is right
Coz its more than a great failure
when you discover that the decision you made
is just because of your
TEMPORARY EMOTION..



Never play on someone who showed you what love means.
Coz only when it’s too late that you’ll realize,
you’ve lost something you would never ever have again.



Never regret the things that once made you smile.
Don't hate the players,
just hat the game of what they call love.

Ang lason b pag nag expire nakakalason pa rin ba? - Tagalog Jokes 2012 Collection

Alone? I'm here for you. In love?
I'm happy for you. Hurt?
You may cry on my shoulder.
Need hug? My arms are yours.
Need money? Wala si Wilmer.
Namundok, umalis. Di niya number to. Who you ba?




ANAK : Tays ! kakains nas tayos !
TATAY : Hoy ! Tigilan mo yang kalalagay mo ng ' S '
sa mga sinasabi mo ha ! Ano ba ang ulam ?
ANAK: BANGU na may KAMATI, ARDINA na may IBUYA !




Ang lason b pag nag expire nakakalason pa rin ba?
Bakit pag close kayo, open kayo as isa't isa?
Pewde bang maglagay ng dinner o breakfast sa lunchbox?
Kapag ang sabon nadumihan, kailangn pa bang sabunin?
kapag ang ipis nahulog sa 2big na may sabon, dudumi ba ang tubig o lilinis ang ipis?
At e2 pa..
Kapag ang uod ba ay namatay, uuudin din?

Minsan okay na din yung may hinala, para pag malaman mo yung totoo di ka na mabibigla - Tagalog Quotes About Love

Minsan okay na din yung may hinala,
para pag malaman mo yung totoo di ka na mabibigla

Let's define "SANA" isang malaking walang kasiguraduhan, pero lagi mong inaasahan

Let's define "SANA"
isang malaking walang kasiguraduhan,
pero lagi mong inaasahan

I'ts hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember.

I'ts hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember.

A man wanted to buy bra for his wife but doesn't know the size: What did he say to the Salesgirl? - Tagalog Jokes Collection

"two timer"
mga hindi kuntento sa isa kaya naghahanap ng iba..
May mga tao ding nagmamahal talaga ng totoo..
Problema nga lang landiin lang ng iba bumibigay na..
Bakit kaya sila ganun? Konting yakap, konting halik..
hanep!..
nakalimutan ng may bf/gf sila at ang masasabi lang nila sa sarili nila..Bakit?
malalaman ba niya?
Secret nga diba?
Ang ngumiti 2 timer..
Ang sumimangot hanep loyal ka talaga..




A man wanted to buy bra for his wife but doesn't know the size.
SALESGIRL: " Is it as big as papaya ? "
MAN: " No "
SALESGIRL : " an apple "
MAN: " No "
SALESGIRL : " ahh..an egg ? "
MAN: " YES , but fried ! "

Mature people always have two things on their lips smile to solve the problem and silence to avoid the problem - Inspirational Quotes Collection

Mature people always have two things on their lips
smile to solve the problem and silence to avoid the problem

THE EGG: ito ang mga bagay na mas nakakalamang ka s kanila , kaya THE EGG mo sila

"THE EGG"
-ito ang mga bagay na mas nakakalamang ka s kanila , kaya THE EGG mo sila.

 "TO WAIT"
-iyan anq huni ng ibon ."to wait .. To wait .. To wait"
 imported unq ibon kaya slang. State side bah. =]

 "LOVING A NAME"
-yan naman yung ksunod sa labinlima

 "SHE FEEL YOU"
-yan yung nilalagyan ng toothpaste .:)

 "THE RICH ZOO"
-eto yung daan na hindi liko ,THE RICH ZOO lang.









A Story with Moral: One day a gf called the bf to her house..he went there & found her sister alone in the house
"she's absolutely sexy". she whispered bf's ear "i have feelings for you, make love with me once"
bf turned around & walked to the front door towards the car.
Amazingly he found his gf standing there, she hugged him & said "you have won my trust"
MORAL: "Its always better to keep the condoms in the car & not in the pocket."

Ang mga babae parang Algebraic Expression. Pinakamaganda kapag nasa simpliest form.

Ang mga babae parang Algebraic Expression.
Pinakamaganda kapag nasa simpliest form.

BARKADA dyan ako natuto tumambay, umuwi ng late, mainlove, makipagaway at makisama.

"BARKADA" dyan ako natuto tumambay,
umuwi ng late,
mainlove,
makipagaway at makisama.
tas sasabihin nila,
BARKADA BAD INFLUENCE?
iba't iba man kami ng katangian,
napahamak man ako minsan,
lahat yan di ko pinagsisihan.
dahil sa salitang yan,
dyan ako naging masaya at natutong lumaban.

Kung ayaw mong masaktan Huwag kang papatol sa taong alam mong expert sa kalokohan

Kung ayaw mong masaktan
Huwag kang papatol sa taong alam mong expert sa kalokohan

Take a risk in LOVE sabihin mo ang nararamdaman mo before its too late

Take a risk in LOVE
sabihin mo ang nararamdaman mo before its too late

8 tips para maiba naman ang araw mo - Tagalog Jokes Collection

8 tips para maiba naman ang araw mo:

1. Sikmuraan ang unang taong kasalubong at humingi ng sorry..

2. Uminom ng pampatulog labanan ito, magexercise.

3. Tibagin ang bahay gamit ang kutsara at buuin muli.

4. Himatayin kunwari sa daan, tiyaking may tao.

5. Tahiin ang puwet at magpatingin sa doctOR

6. Kurutin ang nakababatang kapatid pagkatapos unahan mong umiyak.

7. Makapagtitigan sa isda. Huwag titigil hanggat hindi ito kumukurap.

8. Makipag jack en poy ka sa salamin hanggang manalo

Kapag nagmahal ka sundin mo ang puso mo, pero dalhin mo rin ang utak mo

Kapag nagmahal ka
sundin mo ang puso mo,
pero dalhin mo rin ang utak mo.

6 words women use - Tagalog Jokes Collection

6 words women use:

1. FINE: this is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. 5 MINS.: if she’s getting dressed, this means half an hour.

3. NOTHING: this is the calm before the storm. this means something, and you should be on your knees. arguments that begin with NOTHING usually end in FINE.

4. GO AHEAD: this is a dare, not a permission. don’t do it!

5. LOUD SIGH: this means she thinks you’re an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing there and arguing with you about NOTHING.

6. THAT’S OKAY: this means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistakes.

send this to MEN you know.
to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.

send this to WOMEN you know.
 to give them a good laugh, because they know it’s true.